So Rayna has been preggas. Very, very preggas. She was waddling around almost as wide as she is tall, about to print herself a t-shirt ‘No! I’m not having twins!’ when at last things began to move. After an experience I have no hope of fully comprehending but which one mother I know has described as “like having a stampede of horses running through your guts for hours”, a beautiful little girl emerged into the world.
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Then, to EVERYONE’s surprise, two little feet followed, and eventually out came a little boy.
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WHAT THE FUCK!!? We all know Rayna is an over-achiever but honestly!
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Because of the nature of his birth things were a bit scary-hairy for the wee fella for a while. Rayna, her partner Karl, elder daughter Tara and all who love that awesome family have been through a gumut of emotions; awe, wonder, shock, fear, hope, and love, love, love. I am so very spectacularly happy to be able to report that both the twins are now at home and doing super. Tough genes.
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I’m extra specially happy in light of a deal I made with Rayna while she was still preggas. When she announced that this would absolutely be the last time she was ever with child I sulked - her first kid is so ace I would have liked her to breed a whole army. Well, I hope it’s twins then, I said to which she replied “If it’s twins, you’re keeping one!”. Therefore, as Rayna is a woman of her word, I now have a baby. Fuckin choice.

I’m sure you’re missing us as we’re missing you, but if you need a hit of rad craft while Trashbag Rehab takes a break over summer head over to the ‘I Want To Live Here’ film comp finalists’ screening next week- we’ll be holding a wee market.
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If you haven’t entirely blocked out the horror of the Howard years you might remember fluoro-green cruesader Julie ‘Aussie Jules’ Dunk (Carla from The Town Bikes), well, she’s back to take on the un-Australiana landlord fatcats and will be comparing the film comp screening. Plus there will be radical craft from us, free entry AND giveaways from Crumpler and Madman. This is going to be a ripper. Plus the shorts are bloody good.
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Wed 2nd. Dec 6:30pm
The Order of Melbourne (opposite RMIT)
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RSVP on the facewank invite: http://www.facebook.com/search/?init=srp&sfxp=&q=speed-renting#/event.php?eid=347261450124&ref=mf
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Rayna’s been organising the sellers list but is currently being eaten alive by a fetus so if you want to jump on board and your craft has a radical bent please get in touch with me: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it Nothing too benign & cutesy please.
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Our market will be rent free - that means NO stall holder fees xx

In response to an article lamenting crafters’ apparent need to “put a vagina on everything” (where are these wonderful people? I wanna play with them!)a very clever indeed Etsy seller has created this ‘Vagina on Vagina’ tampon holder.
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It is a detatchable vagina pin on a vagina purse and it is genius. We are very proud to be putting this vagina blog post on top of the vagina pin on the vagina purse. Vagina on vagina on vagina! Put your vagina comments on us!
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Stacks on VAGINAS!!!

Today I quite like trad media, and one publication in particular - Frankie magazine. In their latest edition they showcased different creative collectives from around the country including Craft Cartel. So far, so ace, but the really really really ace bit is that, in their infinite wisdom, they decided to print the answers we gave to most of their questions verbatim including (the ace-est bit) the word ‘cunt’. They didn’t have to. They could easily have snipped it off or blanked it out (all other print publications who have written anything about us have done so) . Frankie is a sweet, whimsical little periodical and I thought it would hit the cutting-room floor as quick as a blush. I have rarely been so happy to be proven wrong. Frankie is no lightweight, Frankie has guts: Frankie rocks.
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Therefore you should all go and buy a copy immediately. Apart from the joy of seeing the word ‘cunt’ in mainstream glossy print, you can get a chunk of really handy tips about green renting from Cartel stalwarts Cate & Chris (wearing their greenrenters.org hats) PLUS read contributions from at least two of my fuck-sisters (’fuck-sisterhood’, of course, referring to the relationship between two women who have had sex with the same man at different times). The last probably isn’t much of a selling point for most of you (particularly as the man in question has been quite prolific so the coincidence is kinda small) but, for me, it added a nice spice to an already enjoyable read.
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“What’s one thing we should know about the group? We don’t find the word ‘cunt’ offensive. Why would you? They’re deep, warm and delightful. Rotarians, on the other hand, are disturbing.”

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Have you checked out The Australian Centre for Democracy and Justice? Well then get onto it. If you think it sounds very lofty and important, that’s ’cause it is. These are the fellas who brought us the very awesome ‘Your voice in the house’ campaign - a resource that lets you locate all the polis who represent you in every house of parliament with just a few mouse clicks.
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Also, one of its head honchos is our very own web guru Hammy Goonan so obviously they are very discerning and wise in all of their activities.
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This is further proven by their latest project ‘En Masse‘, a campaign to “Rethink Copyright in our digital age; to Reclaim culture by encouraging people to step outside the current intellectual property regime; and to provide the tools to Redo cultural outputs, remixing them into something new.“. Pretty ace yes indeed.
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The whole shebang will be launched on Tuesday at 7:30pm at Horse Bazaar, 397 Little Lonsdale St with the screening of the new remix doco ‘RiP: A Remix Manifesto Screening‘.
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On the facefuck invite Hammy says that in the doco “web activist and filmmaker Brett Gaylor explores issues of copyright in the information age, mashing up the media landscape of the 20th century and shattering the wall between users and producers. The film features mash-up musician Girl Talk, Creative Commons founder Lawrence Lessig, Brazil’s Minister of Culture Gilberto Gil and pop culture critic Cory Doctorow”
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Can’t wait.

If ever there was a city addicted to rules and regulations it’s Melbourne. Just this past month dozens of bike riders have been charged a couple of hundred bucks each for cycling along the wide, virtually deserted, paths of the Carlton gardens. It’s illegal to carry marker pens around the streets for crying out loud. We are hooked on convention - our hunger for conformity is sick I tell you, SICK!
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Thank lord we’ve got some expert artists on hand to help us. Between the 16th and the 18th of this month eleven urban artists (including our very own Rayna Fahey) will come together in one awesome project - equalling a 12-step program to help break Melbourne’s habits of convention.
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Curated by Lynda Roberts of Public Assembly (another Craft Cartel regular participant)’The Interventionist Guide’has its HQ in the subterranean gallery, Platform, at Flinders st Station. From there it spreads out into far-flung and forgotten corners of the city. The cabinets within Platform provide illustrative mapping devices, a ‘users guide’ to creatively intervene within a range of urban spaces selected by each artist to reveal the unique nature of each location and the creative potential it offers. Lynda will also be temporarily overlaying an alternative map on Melbourne’s Information Way finder signage to show the location of the Interventionists and their installations and projects.
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Lynda is inviting the lot of you to get involved by taking the radio powered ‘Transistor Show’ or gentle sensory walk alternative tours with artists Neil Thomas, Anthony Morgan and Iian Abrahams, listening to violinist Cye Wood’s strings reverberate in underground tunnels and walkways, watching as office walls and wire fences are transformed into blank canvases for the works of Projector Obscura and Radical Cross Stitch, being confronted with odd behaviour by the Roarawar Feartata Collective and delighted by tiny microgalleries and playful experiments with mirrors by jeweller Caz Guiney and Light-Jacker Ceri Hann.
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So check out the Public Assembly website & facebook invite for The Interventionist Guide, and rock up to help out with an interactive artistic wake-up call to confront all that is predictable and boring in our city.
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YEAAAAH!

It was only a matter of time before we found an excuse to get our gear off, really, and here it is. The Naked Brunch is being held as part of the Fringe Festival at Bebida Cafe tomorrow (Tuesday 6th Oct)at 325 Smith st Fitzroy and Craft Cartel has been invited along to craft in the altogether, the way God probably never intended us to but bugger it, we’re doing it anyhow.
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If you decide to rock up and strip off you will be entertained by a naked poet (what a delightfully awkward idea!), the handsome and hirsuite pole-dancer Agent Cleve and, of course, crafting from us (Cunt Fling-Ups, what else?). You will also be fed, though who knows if you’ll be able to digest anything with all the wobbly bits bobbling around.
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Frankly the whole idea makes me feel a little uncomfortable and like couldn’t I just spend the morning plunging toilets instead, please? I’m not entirely sure why I agreed to this one except that uncomfortable is interesting and interesting is everything and there was a bunch of flowers involved.
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So come join us as we prepare for some intense therapy sessions. It may not be fun but it will be FUNNY.
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Check out the little article about it in today’s Age. BYO pin cushions.
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You can book online at melbournefringe.com.au or call 03 9660 9666

Last Saturday a trio of hardcore Craft Cartel muck-around-ers, Kiki Ando, Hannah Raisin and myself, banded together to form live arrt/craft/improv group, Birdie Fizzle. The loose idea was to style ourselves as a kind of interpretive dance troupe (only messier and wankier) and create sculpture in response to live music. The first live music gig we played with was Peaches DJ set at Roxanne Parlour and oh my fuck it was fun.
Photos will follow (surely someone has some…?) but basically we built a giant bubble out of plastic sheets and sticky tape which was held aloft by a small fan. We then sat inside and started to fill the bubble with smaller bubbles of condoms and surgical gloves (might sound naff but was actually awesome - trust). When Peaches started to play we went manic with spray bottles filled with paint until the entire bubble and everything and everyone in it was covered and we were slip sliding around the floor and walls. It was how I could imagine the mud of Woodstock might have been only multi-coloured and highly toxic. Eventually a bogan reveller ripped a hole in the bubble and it all came crashing down but we danced on regardless and then (and this is the best bit) we got asked to jump up on stage and dance with Peaches.
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Later on I felt compelled to tell Peaches that we weren’t actually, you know, ‘real’ dancers (in case she was severely mentally impaired and had failed to realise this). She very sweetly assured us that this is why we were good and that the large heckling person at the side of the stage was a sign we were “doing something right”. She then declared that our style was “Geek Spaz”. Ah, happiness. I’m going to get ‘Birdie Fizzle = Geek Spaz’ t-shirts into production immediately.
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If you want Birdie Fizzle to spaz your next festival or gig in exchange for champagne and lolly riders and those dog-tag backstage passes that make us feel so special, drop us a line.
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It’s practically our slogan - what’s not to love?
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Created by metARTmorphosis a.k.a Laura Mappin - the lady also makes crocheted golden tampons to commemorate menopause: respect.

Trashbag Rehab is coming again this Monday & it’s an old favourite: Cunt Fling-Ups (crafted cunts flung up over power-lines in the way shoes are flung).

Shoe flinging has a long & illustrious history in the world of activism – from the very first ‘saboteurs’ – French workers who threw their sabots (wooden clogs) into machinery - to the Iraqi journalist who spawned a shoe tossing craze before the last US election by chucking his at Bush. We’re proud to join this tradition with beautiful crafted cunts, weighted with shoes & flung up high, to reclaim the streets for women & cunt lovers in general.

If you want to make a fling-up BYO old shoes, otherwise you might like to craft a cunt fascinator in time for spring racing season. There will be a beauty pageant (sans swimsuit) at the culmination of the event with a prize consisting of all the old crap from the bottom of my unwanted gifts drawer.

* PLUS!
* Free MUFFins for early comers
* Tunes will be spun by the genius behind the Fringe fashion show ‘I love my cunt’, Kiki Ando
* Jewellry designer Birgit Holdinghausen will be on hand with a display of her wondrous silver vulva pieces
* We’re honoured to have the team from upcoming doco ‘Cunts the movie‘ along to capture the fun.
*Sculptor, Greg Taylor, who’s stunning ‘Cunts and other conversations’exhibiton has caused controversy and delight around the world, is kindly lending us some of his porcelain pieces to display on the evening.

Check out the action at our last Cunt making session here

Monday 7th September
5:30-8:30pm
The Workers’ Club cnr. Gertrude & Smith st Fitzroy
$4/$8

Guys, you are most welcome – no need to have a cunt to participate, you can make one when you get there.

RSVP on our Facebook page or just rock up - all materials (except shoes!) provided x